With Friday comes Unofficial St. Patrick's Day here in the warped and wonderful world of Champaign, Illinois. The irony of course is that Unofficial is not unofficial at all and is the creation of bar owning guru Scott Cochrane. Cochrane, the owner of THE Clybourne, C.O.'s and Firehaus (referred to from here on out as 'the haus'),
invented Unofficial in 1996. First of all, Cochrane has done well for himself. He has a diversified bar portfolio that now includes Firehaus which isn't really that bad, but has failed to live up to the hype that comes with a place that was rumored to open every Friday for about 4 straight semesters. Regardless, Cochrane's idea has now become so popular that other people are now using it not just to get drunk, but to make money:
"I spent a lot of time, money and effort for it to be successful. It took a few years. Now everybody out there is trying to rip me off"
Well, Scotty you'd have to be naive to think that anyone who owns a bar or sells booze wouldn't love to take money from morons like Chris Massie. Chris, a sophomore at U of I,
displayed his brilliant time management skills by declaring that:
"I plan on kicking the day off with some beer pong at 6 a.m. and continue until my first class at 9:00," Massie said. "Between 10 and 11 a.m. I'll take whiskey shots, and 11:00 is my next class. Then I'll come back (to my fraternity house) and drink beers until I pass out."
Excellent. Commenting on a quote like that would only serve to detract form its greatness. Thank you Chris for making my morning. But what would a story about drunken fun be without some Debbie Downer trying to kill everyone's buzz and silence the drunken hiccups by bringing us back to reality. Champaign Mayor Jerry Schweighart
used his emergency powers as city liquor commissioner to limit bar opening time untill 11am. According to commish Schweighart:
"I don't want kids drinking from 8 to 10 a.m. and showing up drunk in class" at the University of Illinois, Schweighart said. "I'm trying to deter drinking early in the morning. Maybe it'll distract them so they'll go to classes earlier."
Something (aka logic) tells me that this cunning attempt of chicanery will not deter those who would be willing to wait in line at Kam's at 8am to drink green beer somewhere else. And if you don't think there was a line outside Kam's last year, trust me, I slept about 100 feet away from the front door every night.
Eager binge drinkers waiting outside in sub 40 degree weather should not be confused with an emergency. There were 32 campus arrests on Unofficial last year, although I've heard several claims that two-thirds of those arrested were from other schools. Regardless, your friends at the Champaign police department will be ready and will target students that are
"out of control" and bringing attention to themselves. Moral of the story: Don't go double-O C and we will avoid any emergencies.
Regardless of the buildup, Unofficial represents something different to everyone here in the land of CU. At its core is a time to celebrate and revel in the carnival that is campustown. Perhaps Cochrane had it right when he spawned the idea. Although the green he envisioned was a slightly different shade and contained words like "federal reserve note" and "dollar", he wanted people to have a good time and be safe. And now Unofficial has become something bigger and better than just one man's dream to increase bar traffic. It has become something that unites the campus drinking brethren in a way no other day can.
So what are you waiting for, get out there and have a beer while the sun is still shining.